Fudging mother fudger, I’ve graduated.

*oh wow. so many people have spoken.

Yes, University of the year, HOLLAAAAAAAA

Can we get this over and done with- I’m nervous in a way that’s making me afraid of my bodily functions.

Oh crap. Oh fug, oh fug, oh fug.

I’m wearing a tassely square on my head and my gown makes me look like Professor snape.snape 2

I’m going to fall aren’t I? The Dean is going to lol her socks off at me… no she won’t she’ll help. Oh god that’s so much worse. Don’t help me. THE SHAME. Maybe if I just cover myself in my snapey cloak it will just carry on as normal. Work around me. Yes that’s sensible.

Oh no. It’s my go.

The person infront first. Waity wait.

They said my name.

Here it is.

NORMAL. HUMAN. STEPS.

Smile a bit.

Shakey hand.

It’s over…

BREATHE.

heart feels like its trying to escape from chest.

Oh, shit.

Okay, don’t panic.

Okay,

this is the first day of the rest of my life.

I’ll just have a glass of bubbly, celebrate with my close ones and cry when I get home.

Just kidding…*

CONGRATULATIONS YOU’VE GRADUATED

So don’t panic, here are some tips to help you through…

1.The real world is  more fun than actual adults tell you

Of course, it’s not gonna be how you thought it would be when you were 5. 

People who have been in their job for years are of courrrrrse gonna have their beef with their job- just like you have your beef when Netflix pauses to load. (Why in the name of all things good and holy does the Wi-fi do this to us half way through ‘American Horror Story’ I will never understand.)emma stone

Just wave those people off, concentrate on how exciting it is to have a new job or NOT having job (!!) It’s okay to be in this position, we’re young and please- you’ve just left student life- an adjustment period is necessary…

2. Your degree won’t go to waste

What you need to remember is that, just because the job you get isn’t in the area you necessarily did your degree in doesn’t make it useless! You have something called transferable skills…

pish posh

So, for example, for every graduate, you have the transferable skills of writing essays- sounds stupid- but you can form a coherent argument and deliver it in such a way that employers look for! Never fear!

3. Don’t give up on your pals

Distance makes it harder, beliiiiiiiiieve me I understand- but your friends are probably feeling as poo as you. Give them a ring, a cheeky text everynow and again. Meeting up is gonna have to be arranged in advances and penciled into the diary.

Actual organisation, right?

4. Don’t be jel..

Things are going to go absolutely perfectly for one of your friends and you’re gonna be sitting there with your cup of tea and packet, yes packet, of biscuits wondering what the even heck you’ve done wrong.what the fuck

Literally, don’t panic- keep searching. Dip your biccy in your tea as you browse through jobs online- no pressure.

5. Don’t take the first job you get offered if its not what you want

On that note- don’t just accept the first job that comes along- choose what’s right for you.
Don’t worry if you have to take a job in a bar to keep you going in between finding what you really want to do, but don’t settle. Don’t give up.

You’ve got this.

6. Closure

Don’t become ‘that guy’ who just consistently says how ‘Uni was the best years of my life’, ‘I miss it’, ‘I just want to go back’.
If you want to go back- DO IT you’re alumni, have a cheeky nosy around- hell do a masters- but only if it’s what you want. Don’t just do Higher education for the student life…dont give up

Okay, I hope this was useful.

I know those probably haven’t calmed your nervy nerves- maybe it’s ignited them. If so- oops, I am very sorry, don’t panic, I have a breakfasty snack drawer in my office and I am partially willing to share.
But I genuinely just want to remind you that, as Queen Tanya Byron/other magical beret wearing officials will have said in the ceremony whilst wavering about in front of the degree giving stick (I swear it’s a real thing)- you have done something incredible. It may not have seemed it- for me going to uni was something that was forced down my neck in personal tutor classes, we HAD to write a personal statement, it was a second thought. Uni was just part of the process but good god. We’ve done it. We’ve got ourselves degrees. That’s actually a massive thing & despite life ahead seeming all a bit daunting, loomy and pressurey (maybs)- never fear– You’ve done something spectacular and you are fully capable of doing something equally as spectacular again… Even if you have to remind yourself by spooning your certificate sometimes.

VP Welfare, out.

bye

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2 thoughts on “Fudging mother fudger, I’ve graduated.

    1. Hey Maureen! You have a few choices, you can attempt to sell these back to students, who will be wanting to buy them at a less-than-retail price, or, if you’re feeling charitable, you can leave them on our community bookshelf, which you can find upstairs in the hub, by the big screen. :)

      Like

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